Queen of Drama

I know it has been over a month since I posted last. I'm sorry. My life is so boring right now, I have nothing to write about.

I am in over my head with school, but hopefully it will all be over soon. I swear all I do is homework, go to school or stress about school. It's all about school. I am trying to finish both of my business classes by the end of October. I think I may fail my Bus 220 class. This class is so hard to study for and the test is only 15 questions so there is no room for error. Almost done!!

Everything is the same at home. Angel boy is doing good. His dad has a new job so I have had him the last couple of weekends. Which is great but I can't seem to get anything accomplished with him home.

My sister is still the same. She is such an ass sometimes. She can be the rudest person I know sometimes. She thinks the world revolves around her, though I guess most 14 year old girls do. She is doing horrible in school and I don't know what to do. I should get her first report card at the beginning of next week. I know from looking at her grades online that she has 2 A's, 4 C's and a D. In my world that is not OK. I have talked to her and told her that if those are the grades on her report card she will have her cell phone taken away and her TV taken out of her room. I don't know how to make her do her work. If she really doesn't want to all she has to say is she doesn't have any. How the hell do I know if she doesn't. This has been a constant battle in my house lately.

I had my second Dr appointment last Thursday. He says everything looks great. The baby is measuring right where it is supposed to be. I feel pretty good, though I am always tired and hungry!! I am 11 weeks today so I think that's a good sign that everything will work out. When I had my ultrasound last week the baby was moving around and punching and kicking. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Who would have known that something that's only an inch long can move like that. I am starting to get excited but freaked out at the same time.

How the hell am I supposed to pay for daycare? Here's the thing. I don't make that much money, which I guess is my fault. I love my job but it's slow for most of the year which means I only work on average about 30 hours a week. Which doesn't really give me anything to bring home. I figured out that after I pay for daycare and work my 30 hours a week I may only bring home 600 hundred dollars a month. What the hell? We can't afford for me to stay home not yet anyways. We have so much credit card debt it is unbelievable. I was looking at all my credit cards today and thought I might have a panic attack. I don't know how to get myself out of this hole that I have dug myself. HELP!!!

I have a few stories to tell about my Vegas trip and one about Paige. Should be interesting. I will hopefully be able to start posting a little more regularly now.

I hope you guys have been doing good.

I know it's been a long time, so I am sorry. But I haven't really felt good and there is still nothing going on. My life right now is pretty boring.

School cannot be over soon enough. I am soooo tired of it already and at the rate I am going I am never going to make it. I am taking this horrible business law class and oh my god is it boring, and hard. This class is only 150 points total, 3 10 point homework assignments, and 8 15 point tests. These tests are so hard. I try and study. I read the book, take notes and study the vocab words. Nothing I am doing seems to work. I am getting the worst grades on these tests. The one I took today I got a 7 out of 15, that's a 48 percent. I can't pass the class with these kind of grades. So if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know. The other 2 classes are going pretty good. Time consuming but good.

Everything at home is good. Everyone seems to be getting along and behaving. Angel boy's dad has a new job so he has to travel for the next 3 weeks. So he's all mine for awhile. Except next weekend when I am in VEGAS!! I have Adam's sister's baby shower sat at 1 and then a birthday party at 4. So Sat is going to be busy for me. I really don't want to go to this baby shower. I hate baby shower's, I didn't even like my own. Oh well guess I can't get out of that one. Hope it doesn't last too long.

So next week we are off to Vegas. I am so excited. Kinda wish I could drink and party but I will make it. It will still be fun. We leave next Thursday night. I am going to miss my angel boy so much. I have to drop him off Thursday morning at school and his grandparents are going to pick him up. And then I won't see him until Monday when I get off work. That's a long time and I don't normally go that long without seeing him. Only once in almost 5 years, he went with his dad's family last year to Disneyland for a week. I will live. It will go by fast.

I have been doing pretty good so far with this pregnancy. Nothing out of the ordinary happening. I am really tired and I also have morning sickness all freaking day long. I haven't thrown up yet, but all day all I want to do is lay down. The problem with this is, the only time I feel better is when I eat. I am already over weight, I wish I couldn't eat, so then I won't gain too much.

Hope everyone is doing good!

I just got back from the doctor and am so tired. All the anxiety has me emotionally drained.

So good news, I am 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant and due May 5th. Everything is measuring right where it is supposed to be. My Dr says that unless I start spotting again then everything will be fine. When I had my miscarriage I wasn't measuring where I was supposed to be. I should have been 3 weeks further than what the baby was measuring. So I am hopeful that this will all work out in the end. I have my next appt for Oct 11th for another ultrasound. I am still nervous but will try and take it a little easier.

Thank you guys so much for all the kind comments and concerns. You guys have been great. Thanks for listening to me rant for the last 2 weeks. I know my posts haven't been worth reading lately but thanks for doing it. I'll try to get back to normal soon.

Have a great day.

K so I only have 2 more days until I go see my doctor for the ultrasound. I cannot wait. It still seems like it is a long time to go. I think I am getting morning sickness though. I never had one pregnancy symptom when I was pregnant with angel boy. I felt perfect almost the entire time. Now for the last 2 days I have felt like I am going to throw up at any moment. Happy days!!

School sucks. I am already so tired of it. I read these chapters and the next day I can't remember the crap that I just read. How do I teach myself to remember this crap. Maybe if it was more interesting I would remember more. I have to go tomorrow and take a test in both of my business classes. Wish me luck!

Nothing interesting is going on at home. Same old shit. I have just been really busy with studying. My life is really boring when I am in school. 2 weeks and 2 days left until I leave for Vegas. I am so excited. It's going to be so much fun, even though I can't drink now.

I will post Thursday and let you know what happened at the doctor.

I hope you guys are doing great!

I added the countdown at the top of the page and I am not really sure why. I think I am setting myself up for something bad to happen. I have tried hard not to get to attached or think about it too much but I can't help it. I don't even know when my due date is yet, right now it's just my guess. So if everything goes good next Thursday then I may have to change the date. After today only 6 days till I go to the doctor.

So yesterday I went to school in the morning to take 2 of my tests. So tell me why my bus 220 test I got a 47%. I actually laughed. I have never got such a bad grade on a test. Luckily since I am taking these classes self paced we are able to retake tests once. I went back this morning and got a 74 %, much better. I will take that happily. I really hope next Monday when I go back to take the next one it goes better than this week. I guess I didn't study hard enough. Though it is not easy to study for anything in my house.

The new car we just got has a bad computer in it. So we have to wait until next Tuesday to take it into Watson to get it fixed. I am so disappointed. It sucks!! I won't be driving it until it gets fixed. I have always had the worst fear of breaking down. Tuesday on my way to work the stupid thing died while I was waiting at a red light. It started right back up but it still scared the shit out of me. So Adam drove it Tuesday and Wednesday and it worked fine. I think I'll just wait until Tuesday.

Nothing exciting has been going on. It's been pretty quiet. I guess it will be that way for a while since I'm in school.

Hope you guys are doing great!

My doctor's appointment is in 9 days. This is going by so slow. I want to go now!! I have no patience what so ever. I can't stop thinking about the bad shit, I try but it just goes back to the same thoughts. I feel better this time, other than the strep. Last time I was crampy the whole time and just felt like shit. So far this time around I am not crampy just the occasional here and there and I feel pretty good. I know that I am not the only one that has gone through this. If any of you have been through this or know someone who has I would love to hear the story. I need to know that I will be able to have another baby. I really don't know why I am so stressed out about it.

Anyway, so I did nothing all weekend. I sat around and watched TV. I did a little bit of homework, but not the amount I should have done. I really had no desire to read about business. Blah!! I have to go to school tomorrow. I need to take like 3 tests fun huh? Wish me luck, I will really need it.

I don't really have anything else going on. I hope everyone had a great weekend.

So I am finally feeling better. It's been 4 damn days. I hate being sick, I feel like everything gets turned upside down. My house is trashed, because apparently I am the only one that can wash a dish or run a vacuum. So looks like when I leave G's volleyball game today, I will be doing lots of housework. Sounds fun huh? I bet your jealous!

Remember when I posted about another baby? Well I took a pregnancy test last night and it's positive. I took another one this morning and it's positive too. So I guess that means I am pregnant. I didn't want to tell anyone yet because of what happened last time. I don't want to get my hopes up just to be let down again. But I had to tell somebody. I am excited and nervous at the same time. I want to have this baby so bad, but all I have thought about since last night is what happened in June. I am going to try and be positive and not think about all the bad shit that happened or could happen.

I have my first Dr's appt on Sept 13th. I had it originally for my yearly appt. but I called today and had it changed. My Dr told me last time that when I got pregnant again that he wanted me to come in and have an ultrasound done first before all the blood work and all the other stuff they do. He wants to make sure it is going to be a good pregnancy before I have to go through all the crap. I can't wait. The next two weeks are going to go by so slow. I just hope and pray that it's good news when I go.

So I guess this means my Vegas trip isn't going to be as fun as it would have been. Oh well, it's so worth it!! I just hope the people I am going with have a good time as well.

Oh I almost forgot, I got a new car yesterday. I left work early yesterday and went to bed. Adam came home about 3 and said he wanted to go look at a truck. He swears we need one, uh no we don't, but I'm not paying it so go for it. I went and picked up angel boy and ran some errands, came home and took the test, picked up G from practice and we went and grabbed dinner. While we were eating, he texts me and asked me if it was OK if he bought it. I told him I didn't care, it was him that had to work extra hours to pay for it not me but that he might want to take into consideration that I am pregnant and we may not want 3 car payments right now. He didn't really know what to do. So he called me about an hour later and said he bought it and he was on his way home. He was telling me what kind of truck it was, 2 door extended cab blah blah blah!!! He pulls in the driveway and tells me to come look at it. It was not a truck, it was a Chevy trailblazer. I was so freaking excited. I have wanted on for a while. I had told him when I was pregnant last time that's what I wanted. I could not believe he got it. He said he had actually picked it out before I told him I was pregnant but it just made it easier to buy. I think it's fate. So now I have a trailblazer and he's driving my car!!!